Moving up

Last week I decided to move Noel upstairs where the other kids are and out of our dining room.  This is usually a big step in our babies.  Each time it is such a huge relief and also brings on anxiety.  The idea of having to go upstairs in the middle of the night, the others waking her up, is she covered up, is she cold, and on and on.  But it has to be done and Noel sleeping through the night seemed like such an unachievable task at this point.  Each child has slept worse and worse. Was my parenting sleep skills lacking? Were the others to blame? Was I getting soft? Either way, here we are at 7 months and she was waking me up at random times through out the night. No consistency. 

So on a Friday I moved her up. Somehow she managed to sleep until 4:30 am and I only checked on her once. It was a relief and by some miracle she slept through the night for two more nights.  

Noel is our last baby and for some reason I feel the need to drag out her babyhood. Sometimes I want her to be a toddler (like when I am making supper and I just want to use two hands instead of one) and five minutes later I want her to stay little forever and I can just carry her on my hip, snuggle her little smooth face and stroke her soft hair. Babies are wonderful, they make it all worth it. They give you such unconditional love that your hear wants to burst everytime they look at you. And to be done having babies seem so strange.  Toddlers are on such a different level, an exhausting one at that.  But they are wonderful in their own way as well.  When I sit down at night and literally have all four kids piled up on me it feels so good. It almost allows me to forget about the ridiculous amount of diapers I have to change, the meals with one hand, the toothpaste filled sink and the giant metal toy that my toe finds every night.  

What I set out to say is that we hit another milestone with Noel and it seems just a little bittersweet.    But mostly sweet.